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Monday, July 7, 2008

BOOK 2 CHAPTER 10 JORDAN

Chapter 10 Si Jordan

Kumatok ng malakas si Udo...pero hirap na hirap gumising si Mark dahil sa kalasingan ....pati si boy naka tulog na din dun sa kama nya....

Narinig ni Mark ang pangalan Udo..pero hindi nya alam kung ito ay isang panaginip lang o katotohanan...kaya natulog sya muli....

Kinuha na ni Udo ang susi sa baba..since sya naman ang naka usap ng mga front office manager about the payment nung nawawala si mark at nag bago na katauhan....

Umakyat yung manager at si Udo dala ang susi para buksan ang pinto as room 1214....Binuksan nila ito..at pag pasok sa maliit na kwarto...nakita ni Udo si boy..naka tihaya na walang suot..at si Mark naka hubad din at tulog pa...

Dahil sa selos...

"fuck u!"

at sabay hinatak si boy sa kama at sinuntok sa muka...tumama ang ulo ni boy sa may dresser sa salamin...at naging duguan ang braso at ulo ni boy...at hindi na ito naka bangon.....

Natulala si Mark sa kanyang nakita...tumayo ito at sumigaw....

"You fucking shit!...get out!....get out now!" isang malalim na boses at may accent na medyo british na may halong German...

Nanlalaki ang mata ni Mark...at ikinabigla ito ni Udo..

"honey..it's me..Udo..don't you remember me?...I was worried that's why I came here...I know you are suffering from your mental sickness..honey it's me Udo..."

pag mamaka awa ni Udo..habang si boy naman eh unti unti ng bumabangon at nag pupumilit tumayo....Inakay sya ng manager...

" I know you....yeah...hahahahaha....Udo?"

"Mark? is that you?" alam ni Udo ang sakit ni Mark at hindi nya alam kung bumalik na ito sa kanyang dating pagkatao bilang jake......

"Yeah...Mark is here alright...and Mark doesn't want you anymore...he's in love with that freak..." itinuro si boy...

"Mark?" tanong muli ni Udo...

"honey..it's me Udo..I'm sorry...I just got so upset"

"Don't you get it...Mark is here with me....Jayke and Rey"

"What..." nalilito na si Udo....

"who is Jake and Rey"

"hahahahaha....you don't know them so just shut the fuck up" mala demonyong tawa at ngiti ....

Sa mga oras na yun...naka titig lang si boy sa nag sasalita...pati sya nag tataka at pati yung front office manager...ibang boses at katauhan ang nadidinig nila...ibang kilos...ibang accent....

"I'm Jordan!...and I'm the guardian of these 3....and I will do everything to protect them"

nabigla si Udo ...si boy ..sa nadinig nila...

"3?" tanong ni Udo..

"Mark..it's me...Udo..." pilit pa din na pina paalala ni Udo sa kanya ang kanyang sarile...

" I told you...get out...well not only you...but all of you...including you boy....do you know how much Jake hated you?.....hahahahaha....he's here"

Natulala si boy sa nadinig nya...alam na alam nya ang pangalang Rey at Jake...napa ngaga lang sya..hindi nya alam kung ano sasabihin...at kung ano nangyari kay Mark...na naka piling nya kagabi at naka halikan....Minahal ni boy ang taong yun..higit pa kay rey ...ng biglang sumigaw na sobrang lakas.si Jordan..

"GET OUT! NOW!"

lumakad na parang mga alipin na pina palayas ang tatlo at naka yuko...gulong gulo sila....hindi nila alam kung ano gagawin...basta nasindak nalang sila ng boses ni Mark...na nagbago na....at isa na ngayong matapang na Jordan....

end of part 1
Continuation..

Sumakay ng taxi si boy...nilinis na ng front manager ang mga sugat nya..at nilagyan ng first aid kit sa condo...naguguluhan si boy...sa unang pagkaka taon ..na shock nanaman sya muli pag tapos ng San Jose...

Naisip nya ang asawa nya...hindi nya alam kung ano sasabihin nya at may dala pa syang sugat pag uwi....kung san sya natulog...siguradong aawayin sya nun..at never pa nyang nagawa na matulog sa ibang bahay na hindi kasama asawa nya....

Naisip nya si Mark..kung gano kasarap ang nangyari nung gabi....at hindi nya pinag sisisihan yun...

"mahal kita Mark....kung ano man nangyari sayo...ipagagamot kita...kung hihiwalayan ako ng asawa ko..bahala na....mas mahal kita mark....hindi ko naramdaman yun kahit kanino....hahanap at hahanapin kita Mark..tandaan mo yan..."

bulong ni boy sa isipan nya habang naka sakay sya ng taxi...hindi nya na kinuha ang kotse nya sa opisina...dahil sa kaguluhan na naganap....litong lito pa din sya....pero isa lang ang sigurado sa kanya...Mahal nya na si Mark.

Naglakad si Udo sa Makati Ave at humanap ng ibang hotel....iniwan nya muna ang gamit nya sa Travellers Inn...Pag lakad ni Udo..may nakita sya...na may Korean sign...mura ito at malapit lang kay Mark...sa tabi ng Quick Stomach...

Nag checkin si Udo..at pinakuha nalang nya ang mga gamit nya sa Travellers Inn...na ikana tuwa naman nya...

Nag isip si Udo...sino kaya yung rey at jake na sinasabi ni Mark...or Jordan...at sino na sya ngayon? Doctor si Udo..kaya may idea sya kahit papano kung ano nangyayari kay Mark...

"this can't be?...no..it can't....shet..he's suffering from multiple personality?"

ang tanong ni Udo eh..kung si Mark pa din yung nakatulog na kasama si boy or si Jordan na sya kaya nya nagawa yun na makisama sa ibang lalake....

"it can't be Mark...Mark loves me...no...it's not him" bulong ni Udo sa kwarto nya.....

Lumabas si Udo sa kwarto at pumunta sa front desk sa baba..

"miss..ahh..do you have an internet cafe here?"

"ahhh..sir..yes...2nd floor sir...go up...that way..."

"okay..thanks.."

Nag research si Udo...regarding sa mga possibility na nangyari kay Mark....at eto ang nahanap nya....

A Fugue state is a state of mind characterized by abandonment of personal identity, along with the memories, personality and other identifying characteristics of individuality. The Fugue state is a condition of Dissociative Fugue (formerly Psychogenic Fugue) (DSM-IV Dissociative Disorders 300.13[1]).
Contents
[hide]

* 1 Clinical definition
* 2 Prevalence and onset
* 3 Diagnosis
* 4 Treatment and prognosis
* 5 Case studies
* 6 See also
* 7 References
* 8 External links

[edit] Clinical definition

The etiology of the fugue state is related to Dissociative Amnesia, (DSM-IV Codes 300.12[2]) which has several other subtypes[3]: Selective Amnesia, Generalised Amnesia, Continuous Amnesia, Systematised Amnesia, in addition to the subtype Dissociative Fugue[1].

Unlike retrograde amnesia (which is popularly referred to simply as "amnesia", the state where someone completely forgets who they are), Dissociative Amnesia is not due to the direct physiological effects of a substance (e.g., a drug of abuse, a medication, DSM-IV Codes 291.1 & 292.83) or a neurological or other general medical condition (e.g., Amnestic Disorder due to a head trauma, DSM-IV Codes 294.0)[4]. It is a complex neuropsychological process[5].

As the person experiencing a Dissociative fugue may have recently suffered the reappearance of an event or person representing an earlier life trauma, the emergence of an armoring or defensive personality seems to be for some, a logical apprehension of the situation.

Therefore, the terminology fugue state may carry a slight linguistic distinction from Dissociative Fugue, the former implying a greater degree of motion. For the purposes of this article then, a fugue state would occur while one is acting out a Dissociative Fugue.

The DSM-IV defines [1] as:

* sudden, unexpected travel away from home or one's customary place of work, with inability to recall one's past,
* confusion about personal identity, or the assumption of a new identity, or
* significant distress or impairment.

The Merck Manual [6] defines Dissociative Fugue as:

One or more episodes of amnesia in which the inability to recall some or all of one's past and either the loss of one's identity or the formation of a new identity occur with sudden, unexpected, purposeful travel away from home.

In support of this definition, the Merck Manual [6] further defines Dissociative Amnesia as:

An inability to recall important personal information, usually of a traumatic or stressful nature, that is too extensive to be explained by normal forgetfulness.

[edit] Prevalence and onset

It has been estimated that approximately 0.2 percent of the population experiences Dissociative Fugue, although prevalence increases significantly following a stressful life event, such as wartime experience or some other disaster[6]. Other life stressors may trigger a Dissociative Fugue, such as financial difficulties, personal problems or legal issues. The causes of Dissociative Fugue are similar to those of Dissociative Amnesia and Dissociative Identity Disorder. Dissociative fugue is often mistaken for malingering, because both conditions may occur under circumstances that a person might understandably wish to evade. However, Dissociative Fugue occurs spontaneously and is not faked. Malingering is a state in which a person feigns illness because it removes them from accountability for their actions, gives them an excuse to avoid responsibilities, or reduces their exposure to a known hazard, such as a dangerous job assignment. Many fugues seem to represent a disguised wish fulfillment (for example, an escape from overwhelming stresses, such as divorce or financial ruin). Other fugues are related to feelings of rejection or separation, or they may protect the person from suicidal or homicidal impulses.

Similar to Dissociative Amnesia, the Dissociative Fugue usually affects personal memories from the past, rather than encyclopedic or abstract knowledge. A Dissociative Fugue, therefore, does not imply any overt seeming or "crazy" behaviour.

[edit] Diagnosis

Some disorders have similar symptoms. The clinician, therefore, in his or her diagnostic attempt has to differentiate against the following disorders which need to be ruled out to establish a precise diagnosis: dementia, head trauma, substance intoxication, early symptoms of neurological disorders (eg multiple sclerosis) may resemble conversion symptoms[4]. Similarly, other psychological disorders may manifest symptoms similar to Dissocative Fugues. These include bipolar disorder, schizophrenia and major depressive disorder.[citation needed]

[edit] Treatment and prognosis

Most Dissociative Fugues last for hours or days or months, unresolved and may return. Dissociative Fugue is treated much the same as Dissociative Amnesia and Dissociative Identity Disorder, and treatment is therapy aimed at helping the person restore lost memories as soon as possible[4]. Most people who suffer Dissociative Fugues regain most or all of their prior memories; however, efforts to restore memories of the fugue period usually are unsuccessful.

The goal of treatment is to help the person come to terms with the stress or trauma that triggered the fugue. Treatment also aims to develop new coping methods to prevent further fugue episodes. The best treatment approach depends on the individual and the severity of his or her symptoms, but most likely will include some combination of the following treatment methods:

* Psychotherapy[7][8] — Psychotherapy, a type of counseling, is the main treatment for dissociative disorders. This treatment uses techniques designed to encourage communication of conflicts and increase insight into problems.
* Cognitive therapy — This type of therapy focuses on changing dysfunctional thinking patterns and resulting feelings and behaviors.
* Medication — There is no medication to treat the dissociative disorders themselves. However, a person with a dissociative disorder who also suffers from depression or anxiety might benefit from treatment with a medication such as an antidepressant or anti-anxiety medicine.
* Family therapy — This helps to teach the family about the disorder and its causes, as well as to help family members recognize symptoms of a recurrence.
* Creative therapies (art therapy, music therapy) — These therapies allow the patient to explore and express his or her thoughts and feelings in a safe and creative way.
* Clinical hypnosis — This is a treatment method that uses intense relaxation, concentration and focused attention to achieve an altered state of consciousness (awareness), allowing people to explore thoughts, feelings and memories they might have hidden from their conscious minds. The use of hypnosis for treating dissociative disorders is controversial due to the risk of creating false memories.


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"So this is it"....bulong ni Udo..

"he did not suffer from Amnesia...what happend was psychological....I wonder what trauma happened before he was swept in the river?...so it couldn't be a head injury then...interesting....hmm....."

"So Jordan....that's your new name....let us see....I will do everything in my power to bring back Mark...and whoever the other name was...So Jordan..you will be my new bestfriend...."

"shet....I did not get the guy who slept with him...he might have been useful....shet...I could have ask him questions...shet.."

Biglang naalala ni Udo ang mga happy moments nila nung asa Germany pa sila....at kusa nalang tumulo ang luha nito sa pisngi...at pinunasan nya ito...

"mark..i love you..and I will bring you back....I promise"

pagalit na bulong ni Udo sa harap ng computer....

Bumalik si Udo sa Hotel....kumuha ng phone directory....humanap sya ng isang magaling na psychologist....halos lahat eh tinawagan nya at interview nya..since doctor din sya....gusto nya yung pinaka magaling sa field ng "Fugue State"....pero wala syang nakita...hindi well known ang sakit na yun sa pilipinas...and very rare ang disease na yun...

Tumawag sya sa UP...since alam nya ang research skills ng UP diliman....at na connect sya sa isang psychologist na pangalang Erika....

Nag tanong si Udo sa Sarile...pano naman nya mapa gagamot ang taong wala sa sarile....Nag isip sya ng malalim....at isa lang ang lumabas na solution...lusubin ang kwartong 1214 at itali at igapos si Jordan...para ma rehabilitate sa UP...

Nag plano na si Udo sa kanyang mga gagawin...

Samantala...sa kwartong 1214....isang tulog na Jordan ang naka higa sa kama....wala pa ding suot na damit.....mahimbing na mahimbing ang tulog nya....

Samantala...sa bahay ni boy...

"hayop ka...san ka galing kagabi...." habang huma hagulgol ng iyak ang missis ni boy....

Nag away sila ng misis nya...walang masabi si boy..habang ang bata na anak nila ay iyak ng iyak...sigaw ng sigaw ang missis nya...pero walang magawa si boy dahil guilty sya....habang nagsasalita ang missis nya...ang kanyang utak at nasa room 1214.....gusto nyang bumalik...gusto nya matiyak na ang Mark na minahal nya ay talagang nagbago .....

Lumakad si boy...palabas ng pinto....

"hoy lalake..san ka pupunta?....hayop ka..wag ka ng babalik ....kung sino man yang kabit mong yan...mamatay na sana kayong dalawa"

hindi nya alam..na ilang beses ng namatay at nabuhay ang pagmamahalan ni boy at ni rey....

Sumakay ng taxi si boy...at bumalik sa Travellers Inn..kahit puros sugat pa din ang kanyang ulo at braso...

Nakita ng mga Front Office si boy muli..at hinabol ito...

"sir...sir...wag na kayong umakyat..baka mag kagulo pa ulit"

"asan si Mark?...asa itaas pa ba?"

"opo sir..hindi pa bumababa simula kanina..."

"pwes aakyat ako"

"sir please..para wala ng gulo.."

"ako bahala..hindi gulo ang hanap ko..gusto ko ng linaw...kung ano ang katotohanan"

"sige sir..basta kayo ang bahala ha...out na kami dyan"

"sige..ako bahala...pag tumawag ako ng phone..sagutin nyo..baka magwala kasi uli ehh"

"sige sir..aalalayan namin kayo..pati nga kami sir..natatakot na..para atang na possess yan ehh...tumawag na kaya tayo ng pare?"

"ako bahala.sige na.."

Umakyat si boy sa elevator...at kumatok sa room 1214.... Pag katok ni boy....hindi nya na tinawag ang pangalang Mark....

Matagal ang katok ni boy....pero walang nag bubukas ng pinto....pero hindi nya ito tinigilan...after ng mga 10 minutes...may nag bukas...

"Mark...si boy to...Mark"

tumitig lang si Mark kay boy ng matagal....at namumula ang mata...pero wala pa ding suot na damit...at napansin ito ni boy...

"Mark..nakaka hiya..pasok nako?..usap tayo Mark"

Binuksan ni Mark ang pinto ...senyas na pwede na syang pumasok ..pero hindi pa din ito nagsasalita....

Umupo si boy sa sofa...takot at nakikiramdam...hindi nya alam kung ano gagawin....lumapit si Mark sa kanya....itinapat nya ang burat nya sa bibig ni boy...at bigla itong nagsalita..

"tsupain mo"

nabigla si boy....pero wala syang magawa...mahal nya si Mark at gagawin nya ang lahat para lang lumamig ang ulo nito.....tsinupa ni boy si mark....at unti unting tumigas ang burat ni Mark...pero walang sarap sa muka ni Mark...naka titig lang ito sa pag tsupa ni boy....

"alika" nag senyas si Mark na tumayo si boy...ginawa nya ito....at sabay hinalikan ni Mark si boy na sobrang higpit....na halos hindi na naka hinga si boy..

"putang ina naman Mark!..ano ka ba?" biglang pumigtas si boy at nakawala sa lakas ni Mark....

"kala ko ba mahal mo si Mark?..hahahahahaha...."

nagalit si boy...

"putangina ka..ibalik mo si Mark sakin"

" hahahahahaha....you dumb naive stupid native boy...hahahaha....you're a good kisser..no wonder...they all love you?"

"they?...who?"

"hahahahaha....kilala mo lahat sila boy..."

"tangina ka kung sino ka man...nag tatagalog ka pala...pa ingles ingles ka pa hayop ka" habang may hawak na pamalo na si boy....

"ibalik mo ang mahal ko..si Mark...asan na sya?"

"si rey..ayaw mo?"

"sinong rey?"

"rey...yung pinag tankaang nyo patayin ..remember....before the flood...the uncle maniac?...ding dong....hello...ring ring..."

"gago...tinakot lang ako ng tito nya....kaya ako sumama nun...at nagako sya na hindi nya ako guguluhin...."

"talaga? takot san?"

"ikakasal ako nun...pero hindi alam ni rey....at i-tsismis daw ako ng tito nya kapag hindi ko sya iginanti kay jake..tangina mo..labas mo si Mark"

naiiyak na si boy...magkasamang galit...pang hihinayang...at lahat ng emosyon na pinag sama sama na...litong lito sya..hindi nya alam kung sino ang kanyang kausap at kung bakit alam na alam ng kausap nya ang mga pangyayari....at nag patuloy ito....

"rey...jake....kung andyan kaman....ikaw ang bumaril sa tito mo....tumakbo ka....at kinuha ng mga tanod...ng umagos ang tubig...naka hanap ako ng plywood...hinila kita jake....iniligtas kita....wala akong kasalanan sa yo"

ng mga oras na yun....walang tigil ang agos ng luha ni boy..habang naka asta pa din sa pamalo..kung lumapit ang kausap nya..na hindi nya na kilala ngayon....

"minahal kita rey...at minahal ko din si jake...ngayon..asan na si mark ko...ilabas mo sya.." huma hagulgol na si boy sa kaka iyak..at nag mamaka awa.....

Natulala lang si Jordan...hindi sya naka kilos....marahil ay dahil sa mga nadinig nya kay boy.....na sya ang nag ligtas ng buhay ng mga ina alagaan nya....

Tumirik ang mga mata ni Jordan...sinasabi na ng utak ni Jordan na wala na syang silbi para protektahan pa silang tatlo....kasi ang taong nagmamahal sa kanilang tatlo ay kaharap na nya....

at muli nagsalita si boy...

"Mark...asan ka?...makinig ka...mahal kita mark...lumabas ka dyan...please.." sigaw ni boy....habang may hawak pa ding pamatpat sa kamay at naka tutok kay Jordan....

Biglang may kumatok sa pinto...ang mga tauhan sa front desk..may nag complaint na pala sa lakas ng sigawan....tumingin si boy sa pinto....para buksan..habang naka abang pa din ang pamatpat nya kay Jordan....

"sir..kami ito..buksan namin...."

binuksan ng manager yung pinto...at tinignan ito ni boy...

"sir ano nangyari dyan?"

pag tingin ni boy kay Jordan...asa sahig na ito at tirk ang mata..at nag susuka na parang may seizure....

"bilis..kumuha ka ng tissue or tualya..para hindi makagat ang dila..." sabi ng manager sa tauhan nya...

"mark..mark...si boy to...mark..." maka awa ni boy....

"sir...tumawag na kaya tayo na pare.."

"sige ...tumawag ka.."

"sir..itale natin baka mag wala uli yan pag malakas na.."

"sige..sa kama...wag nyo sikipan para hindi mangawit..."

"opo sir..."

itinale nila si Jordan sa kama....pinunasan ang suka...at naka tulog muli ito....kinumutan ni boy..ang hubad na katawan ni Jordan...

Huminahon na si Jordan...at inayusan na ni boy si Jordan..binihisan..pinunasan ng mainit ng bimpo...at sinuklay ang buhok.....at binantayan lang ito...

"mark...wag kang mawawala sakin...mahal na mahal kita...wag mokong iiwan ha..." binulong ni boy sa tenga ni Mark.....

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