As usual medyo matagal nako di nag blog dito and of course...stalled my writing..as usual..
There were developments again with me and Jake. I thought it ended years back, since I really threw out what i felt for him. But recent events lead to another thing. He started his own business...a gym. He earned a lot since the place was full of people and near a hospital.
Since then, he was very approachable to me...giving me gifts...treating me out...and even renting out my vans in cash. And I am shock with these developments...since I did not believed him years back wherein he promised that he will start giving me money once he has his own business. All I knew back then, was our relationship was based on money.
When he invited me to check his gym....I came in drunk from another party..so I told him that I have to sleep in his place since I'm drunk and it is already 4 am. His girlfriend now..a 20 year old model too...was sleeping in the same room. I was just surprise that she prepared my bed way ahead after me and jake went out to dampa for a small talk...well as usual..ako uminom again..ng red horse.
Habang nag iinuman kami...parati nyang sinasabi "ikaw naging mentor ko...hayop ka".
I disregarded it while I was drinking...but I knew he was serious. When I went to the CR...sya naman pumunta sa CR..and to my surprise..yung waiter...binigay yung sukli sa bill...so he paid for it...and I was really shock...Wow...ngayon lang sya nag libre.
Then ayun natulog na kami..ako naka hiwalay but inches away from him...since they had a japanese bed..and ako sa floor so malapit lang...when we woke up at around 5 pm....I stood up..at gising na pala sya...and he was watching me..and he admitted to me that night..na hindi talaga sya naka tulog. Sabi ko bakit? pero di na nya sinagot...there was a part when I was sleeping that I saw his hands...reaching out for me...pero di ko hinawakan...kasi ayoko din sirain kung ano man buhay nya now na maayos na.
Honestly ayoko na din...tama na...na solve ko na nga ito..meron ako at meron na din sya...at may business na sya...at may mga bakla pa din na tumutulong sa kanya. Pero iba din naramdaman ko nung natutulog ako...gusto ko syang yakapin at halikan...pero andun yung babae...
Alam ko mahal pa din ako ni jake...nararamdaman mo naman yan diba? stupid ka na pag di mo alam kung mahal ka ng isang tao. Matagal akong hindi nag paramdam sa kanya...super tagal talaga...kasi nga give up nako sa kanya...at magulo buhay nya...kung ano anong bikini contest pina pasok etc etc...
I must also admit..that he was my inspiration when I wrote parausan book 1...in just a span of 2 months while I was in australia. At nung na bad trip nako sa kanya...eh nawalan na din ako ng gana mag sulat at ituloy ang book 2 na up to now..di ko matapos tapos...kasi naka focus sa kanya itong book...
Ang nakaka takot eh..baka maging totoo itong book sa aming 2...that we will both end up in business like jake and boy.
Alam nyo...medyo wala pa ding nakaka alam ng buhay ko...lalo na yang kay jake...kasi nga...ang agwat ng edad namin...and people think I have that strong personality wherein I won't fall for anybody.
But my analogy was correct..I knew...we will be friends forever since we have so much in common..even our bdays...it is just 1 day apart.
Medyo at ease na yung girlfriend nya sakin...we went out the other night...at nilibre nya nanaman ako...ngayon parang ako na nagiging sucker...
Well let us see what's gonna happen next..we will meet again tonight since he is going to return my Van...from his outing with the staff and member of his gym...you should try visit his gym...sya instructor dun...at puros mga model ng commercial ang back up nya..like that Cobra model yung malaki katawan na tisoy..andun din.
About the book..i will try to read it again..para malaman ko kung ano na nangyari and continue it...
3 days ago